she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
