beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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