If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
