I just cut my nipple shaving
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
