why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She even gives head with a lisp.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
