Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
