I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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