I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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