Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Found your dick twin last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
