I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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