i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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