My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
