i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
