Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think i got beer on your cat.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
