There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
