my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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