everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
