are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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