Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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