im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
