Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize