Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
