Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
