Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
