I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
