I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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