she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
