You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
