Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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