I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
