Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
