i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
