good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
