so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
