I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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