Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
