That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
did you just send me my own nude
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
