Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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