Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i think i just lost a toe
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
