never play flip cup with pint glasses
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Couch. On fire.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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