Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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