ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
