all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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