Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
