She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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