a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
