my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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