so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
