So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
