..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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