handjob tips. give me some.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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