so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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