yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
