I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
