wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Randomize