We're facebook friends in real life
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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