I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
