That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
