So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
