Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
