I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
