I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
