And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
