plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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